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Monday, 11 January 2010

Red dressed as Green

My pack was heavy on my back but that was not what was weighing me down
it was the looks of fear that that clouded my mind the cries of terror pushed from the lips of every man who had found death at my hands.
haunting me pulling away happiness until joy was nothing more than a lost memory a dream i couldn’t quite remember.

it hadn't always been like this. there was once a time when the war was young and all us new giddy recruits were ready for action. we had heard such stories about those monsters dressed in blue and we were ready for blood. that was before we got to live the stories. we had felt so strong dressed in our green knowing we were heroes working for the greater good. the knight slaying the dragon.

that was before the red, the deep flowing red. i fired the shot and the green turned red the we turned to just me alone and pained.

no matter how much blue they wore it could not hide the red the monster could not hide the man.

so i march with my pack on my back and my feet digging in deeper with every step.
and think of the men in green. we were told they were monsters because they killed but had i not killed.

everyday this thought pushed deeper and deeper into my mind i was the monster. drilling at me until it consumed every fiber of my body i was the monster not blue but green.
they had taught me what to do to monsters, i knew what to do now, i took my pistol resting the cold steel against my temple. i kew how to kill a monster i pulled the trigger

my pack was still on my back but there was nothing weighing me down not blue or green nothing but red setting me free making me man the monster was gone and a moment later .... so was i.
my ugly imperfection

i have an ugly imperfection
no deeper than my skin
a fight a battle against myself
i know i can not win

but i will work my very hardest
to make the pain sleep
but it seems ever little act
brings me closer to the deep

i hurt myself beyond repair
trying hard to win
and now i see my imperfection
is deeper than the skin

but i couldn't fix the deep
so i found other things to be
i diden’t solve the imperfection
my imperfection solved me

Sunday, 10 January 2010

i want to sleep in your bed

i dont want to walk in your shoes. i want to sleep in your bed. in there room the sanctuary that hold all your secrets. when you lie there in your room of safety your room of secrets. you feel safe and vulnerable everything that makes you you comes to the surface. no masks nothing to cover who you really are just pure raw human. with all your fears and happiest moment floating and hovering around you. there is no playing the games of other people in this place of your own.

your life is a canvas painted with the memory's of the past. but you keep this portrait locked from the world. you keep it in your room and look at it only when your lying in bed then you sleep your sweet sleep.

and when you wake up you will put on your shoes and walk around but i dont wanna walk in your shoes and see what your show the world i want to sleep in your bed and see what you will show no one .

Tuesday, 03 November 2009

Love <3

Every moment is better with him, i would follow him to the end of the earth. he is my life, my everything , my love

but what is love? i believe love started as a basic chemical reaction in the brain to cause us to want to reproduce. we all yearn to be loved that's what drives our world thus, keeping our race going. much of sex is about that connection between the two people so without love our sex drive may have slowly dwindled and made the human race weak and/or non existent.

yet we don't just feel love for the people that we want to get with. we feel it for many people in out word this leads me to believe it has evolved so now not only does it give us the desire to reproduce but also helps us live with each other. it can help us work with other people and feel compassion. it can also give us the drive to keep living and striving. it can give us the drive we need to keep moving up and outwards.

none of this is trying to demean love in any way. it is an amazing thing that i hope all people have in any way they can. still many strange things in this world that seem to good to be true are bought back to science.